So i ask myself why does love hurt so bad.Why is it that when you are little you always you to think about falling in love and getting married but when you grow up you realize that you were just dreaming.I got married to someone who i met,i thought he was great at first but now i am not so sure i wonder all the time.I do love him and why i can't figure that out.It sure is not for the sex or is it for the money.i wonder?I have ask myself that for years.

  My whole marriage i have had to fight with him about other women he always wanted other women but not me,after all the years the love became fear,fear of being alone by myself without no one.

but how could i keep letting him do the stuff he was doing and he would always have a story to tell about whatever he did to cover it up.He would always manipulate me into believing him and he would always make me think i was wrong. i wonder do i really love him? Is he worth the pain i feel?Is he worth the heartache that i endure.